{"id":148371,"date":"2020-11-24T14:02:26","date_gmt":"2020-11-24T19:02:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/old.cieleathletics.com\/journal\/?p=148371"},"modified":"2020-11-24T14:17:30","modified_gmt":"2020-11-24T19:17:30","slug":"dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/","title":{"rendered":"dear every womxn, only your love is welcome here"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

this is a story about filsan abdiaman, her fallible self-love journey, and her inclusive mission to share it\u2013\u2013<\/em><\/strong>p<\/em><\/strong><\/a>roject love run<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

story by: meggie sullivan<\/a> with quotes from filsan abdiaman<\/a>
photos by: van run co<\/a> & patrick leung<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a world that desperately needs more empathy, allyship, and love, there will always be space to welcome Filsan Abdiaman. Filsan is a certified coach, an ultra runner, a leader, and founder of Project Love Run (PLR). First started in Toronto in 2016, Project Love Run is a running community that invites women to discuss and explore matters of the heart through running, communal eating, and storytelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filsan Abdiamen was born in Somalia and raised Muslim with her two brothers and sister. She spent the greater part of her young life in Kenya, quickly learning Swahili, while her parents preserved and shared many Somali customs. At the age of 18, Filsan left for Canada with her sister to pursue a new education at their parent\u2019s behest. The two grew closer than ever as they navigated teenagehood, high school, a brand new culture, and as she humorously recalls, the public transportation system. Today, Filsan identifies as a Somali-Kenyan-Canadian Muslim Womxn. (The term \u2018womxn\u2019\u2013\u2013an alternative spelling of \u2018woman\u2019\u2013\u2013is deployed often by intersectional feminists and Project Love Run to eradicate perceived sexism in its linguistic dependence on \u2018man\u2019 and to explicitely include transgender and nonbinary people.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Throughout her childhood, Filsan had never thought of herself as an athlete and was content indoors doing \u201cnerdy journaling,\u201d a practice she continues to this day. It wasn\u2019t until her mid-twenties that Filsan discovered running to cope with a breakup. It became a reliant escape from her reality; a newfangled awareness of her body and emotions. For the first time she could rein in the ever-elusive present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite discovering this outlet, Filsan found herself in a tiresome cycle of online dating and swiping. That Halloween, as an \u201cact of rebellion,\u201d Filsan set out in costume as a \u2018runaway bride.\u2019 Turning the pop-culture construct on its head, she wanted to reclaim love and run towards self-love. The night was an inflection point in Filsan\u2019s personal self-love journey, one she describes today as ongoing and ever-changing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanting to share her newly found catharsis with her immediate community, Filsan launched Project Love Run\u2019s first chapter in Toronto. \u201cRunning helped me find self-love and I wanted it to do the same for other women,\u201d she recounts in PLR\u2019s blog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

No self-love journey is perfect. Filsan was battling her own demons at the onset of her founding initiative. Even though she was conquering ultramarathons and training, she was confused by her learnt ideas of \u2018fitness and health.\u2019 The high-mileage training left her nutritionally depleted. She often wondered if she was eating too little. Or, perhaps too much. Filsan became lost in the cyclical struggle of an eating disorder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I would binge to make up for what I lost, and then I would purge. As a Black woman seeing only news articles of white women dealing with eating disorders, I didn\u2019t feel like I had an eating disorder. Later on in my journey with it, I would come to realize I was wrong.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filsan was desperate to start anew. By August 2017, she moved to Vancouver for better proximity to nature, trails, and more ultra-races. But she was without her familiar social circles and desperately needed connection. With her anxiety mounting, Filsan\u2019s eating disorder spiraled. \u201cI was at an all-time low.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I thought, \u2018I have to do something about this.\u2019 I can continue going down this one route or I can try something different. I went for a run and afterward, I stopped at the bookstore and picked up some of Rupi Kaur\u2019s writing. It was a subconscious act. I knew [Kaur\u2019s] poetry and words were going to help me pull through.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am loving myself out of the dark,\u201d wrote Rupi Kaur, an Indian-born Canadian poet in her latest book, entitled home body<\/em>. Filsan was determined to do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She sought a professional therapist who suggested writing journal entries to herself. \u201cInstead, I decided to write entries full of love to myself. My goal was to write 100 of them, then train and complete the 100-kilometer [Diez Vista] race. As I wrote, I started to celebrate myself, to be kind to myself, to do all the things I was actually writing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In one entry Filsan wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Body Love,<\/em><\/strong>
I spent some quality time with you this morning;<\/em><\/strong>
I washed away the sweat and dirt<\/em><\/strong>
Laying bare in this nakedness<\/em><\/strong>
Loving all my marks, bruises and flesh<\/em><\/strong>
Scanning this body,<\/em><\/strong>
You,<\/em><\/strong>
For hidden tales I\u2019ve missed<\/em><\/strong>
Searching for intimacy behind<\/em><\/strong>
Skin rolls and skin folds,<\/em><\/strong>
Looking in<\/em><\/strong>
And entering deeper within<\/em><\/strong>
My soul<\/em><\/strong>
Feeling you body,<\/em><\/strong>
Holding you \u2013<\/em><\/strong>
Loving every single bit of<\/em><\/strong>
You<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By kismet, Filsan would reach her goal of 100 entries on Valentine\u2019s Day. And, the 100-kilometer race was one she\u2019d never forget. It\u2019s where she met her current partner. \u201cIt goes to show, when you focus and place your love onto yourself…people see it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shortly thereafter by summertime, Filsan launched Project Love Run\u2019s Vancouver chapter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Today, Project Love Run can be found across Canada in Edmonton, Calgary, Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver. PLR\u2019s women are a spectrum of identities and experiences: racial backgrounds, ethnicities, genders, sexualities, bodily types, and running abilities. \u201cWith my collective, I often say: Only your love is welcome here.\u201d Every run has a theme and begins with attendees stating their identifiable pronouns \u2013\u2013she\/her, they\/them\u2013\u2013and the encouragement to quietly identify how they \u201ctake up and show up in space\u201d and a reminder to \u201crespect and honour the space of those around them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This habitual practice lays a basic foundation for self-awareness before they dive into any dialogue. Filsan believes that identity is synonymous with one\u2019s experience, and ultimately a story to be shared, related to, or inspired by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Project Love Run\u2019s conversations deeply explore themes of womanhood, especially for BIPOC women. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“We must acknowledge our stories in order to be seen and to feel heard. This is who we are. Our stories must become the mainstream so others can see how they belong.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recent topics for runs and on PLR\u2019s blog have included BIPOC women in business, cultivating friendships where diversity is lacking, masturbation as self-care, and menopause, to name a few.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Project Love Run has opened doors for many of its women in ways that didn\u2019t previously exist for them. \u201cThere are many Black women and women of color, who have shared with me that they were connecting on another level, that they felt seen, that they could belong.\u201d Filsan recalls a time when she felt this too. When she first arrived in Vancouver, run crews would often use the statement \u2018running for everyone.\u2019 She found this problematic as the city is predominantly white and of Asian descent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“There are folks in the running world who are unaware. These are the white running spaces. It might not be your intention to be in one of them, but that\u2019s where the community is situated. I\u2019m a Muslim woman, I\u2019m Black, I\u2019m female. I don\u2019t wear a hijab. I don\u2019t talk about my partner. Sometimes I drink. I have felt apprehension not only being here but I fear judgement within the Muslim community. We have to work towards creating a space that is for everyone.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can one do better to not only welcome marginalized individuals, like Filsan, but to embrace and support them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Take notes. Project Love Run practices introspection and reflection together. They also know their values and share them outwardly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It\u2019s not enough to say running is just running in its simplest form. Running crews really need to realize and say, \u2018These are our values. This is who we are.\u2019 Answering this so that people know what you\u2019re about is very important in the world we live in. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people don\u2019t think running is political, but when you have all these identities, running does impact you and influence you. Running is so many things.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If there\u2019s one thing 2020 has done effectively, it has put a mirror up to society\u2019s and one\u2019s own beliefs, asking its viewer to respond. Whether you are a lone recreational\/professional runner, a part of a crew, a club, or a team, Project Love Run inspires the question: How does your running practice offer self-love? How does it reach beyond \u2018you?\u2019 To your community, to running\u2019s mainstream?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to achieve diversity, inclusion, belonging, equity, and ultimately advance the sport, Filsan advises that one must check themselves and their internal biases first before making changes beyond. For example, asking the question \u2018why do I feel uncomfortable about this space not being inclusive?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou have to do things like supporting grassroots movements and creating space for BIPOC folks, their bodies, and their experiences. Invite them in to understand what their struggles are. Pinpoint the blind spots. Identify the next steps.\u201d To those who heed this advice, Filsan warns, \u201cyou cannot tokenize them. You must involve them in the ground work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acknowledgement is key. The approach must start at the foundation. The status quo and complacency are no longer acceptable. The frontier is vast and guiding voices like Filsan\u2019s must continue to be amplified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Running plays an enduring role in Filsan\u2019s evolution of self-love and mission for others. When she\u2019s bounding along the verdant trails of British Columbia, Filsan describes the experience as knowing her place in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I\u2019m surrounded by nature\u2019s beauty and feel very small in this very big universe. I know there is something much greater. I feel close to God. This feeling of love and being loved is a clear indication of God\u2019s presence. I have real ownership over my space, even though I am completely alone. This is enough for me.<\/strong>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is one thing to run alone. But it is not enough to trailblaze alone. Knowing Filsan\u2019s story, perhaps now you will choose to run beside her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

follow Filsan\u2019s and Project Love Run\u2019s latest here: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Project Love Run\u2019s upcoming monthly virtual runs<\/a> due to the current COVID-19 pandemic.
Project Love Run\u2019s blog.<\/a>
Filsan on Instagram. <\/a>
Project Love Run on Instagram.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

this is a story about filsan abdiaman, her fallible self-love journey, and her inclusive mission to share it\u2013\u2013project love run.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5879,"featured_media":148378,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[937],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\ndear every womxn, only your love is welcome here - Ciele Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"this is a story about filsan abdiaman, her fallible self-love journey, and her inclusive mission to share it\u2013\u2013project love run.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"dear every womxn, only your love is welcome here\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"this is a story about filsan abdiaman, her fallible self-love journey, and her inclusive mission to share it\u2013\u2013project love run.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ciele Journal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-11-24T19:02:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-11-24T19:17:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/old.cieleathletics.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/12\/2020\/11\/PLR-Sept20-50-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1286\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dm\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"dm\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"dm\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/#\/schema\/person\/75e4cc9d09e01a74888cc45ca9a00616\"},\"headline\":\"dear every womxn, only your love is welcome here\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-11-24T19:02:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-11-24T19:17:30+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\"},\"wordCount\":1748,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"People\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/journal.cieleathletics.com\/blog\/2020\/11\/24\/dear-every-womxn-only-your-love-is-welcome-here\/\",\"name\":\"dear every womxn, only your love is welcome here - 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